Best of times, worst of times

..."Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me." (Matt 25:34-6)

I've now been in France a week! Thoughout the past week, I've often thought of this verse. It really is hard to be so far from home, from all the people whom I love. Now I more fully appreciate people who have the compassion and the patience to welcome strangers. It takes effort to be truly welcoming to a foreigner. There are barriers, language barriers and cultural barriers. But to have compassion and have patience will bring blessings!

Stranger in a strange land. Sometimes I enjoy it, savor it. Sometimes I feel lost and lonely.

For example, there are accomplishments:

Today, I didn't get really lost! I succeeded in opening a French bank account this afternoon. I went shopping, bought lotion and shower gel, and a French novel (called Alabama Song). It's about Zelda Fitzgerald, and the French author visited Alabama to do research for it, and consulted with one of my French professors at A.U. (from whom I first heard of the book). After publishing, the guy won the Prix Goncourt, a French literature prize, for it, in 2007! The perfect novel for an Alabama girl to read in France.

I also had a couple of nice exchanges. I looked into Notre-Dame-en-Vaux, the church downtown, for Magnificats, and a helpful little old lady thought and consulted with a friend about where one might find them, then gave me directions to look for one at a "Maison Diocèsaine" down the street. On my way, I stopped into a sort-of fancy foods store, which had a lot of scented sugars (fruity to put in yogurt, chocolate-y to put in coffee, etc) and other luxuries. The lady working there was very friendly and interested in what I was doing in Châlons. She asked me about my experience coming from the USA to France, and she gave me a chocolate-covered almond to try. How sweet!

I profited from my beautiful surroundings, sitting on a bench by the water to read, relax, and eat a croissant (okay, fine, I admit it was another pain au chocolat). That was peaceful. Swans swam past me, to eat breadcrumbs that a mother and son were throwing. Fishermen threw out their lines. Some teenagers sat on the bench next to me. And some mammal swam through the water, too (a beaver? I have no idea!).

But there are also difficulties:

In the evening I went to a daily mass at Notre-Dame-en-Vaux, but it was hard for me to follow the readings without seeing anything written. And no one talked to me like I hoped they might...I dreamed that I maybe could have a Catholic friend or perhaps even find someone nice to live with. But these things take time, I guess.

Then, I was sulking at the foyer because the other assistants left me behind when they went to centre-ville. Why doesn't anyone want to be my friend?!?!? On a Friday night, I had no one to eat dinner with and and didn't want to go out by myself. Lonely evenings. I think I might just need to accept this and buy some non-perishable groceries that I can cook. Dad told me that I'm not in France to sit in my room...so I ventured out on my own and found a little crêperie, where I had a "galette" and some tea. It was good to have dinner, yes, but it made me uneasy to walk alone at night. Especially after some guy insisted on striking up a conversation with me, and gave me his number so I could call to have drinks with him! Hmph. 

I also don't know if I want to stay at the Foyer where I am now...the walls are SO thin, at night I can hear if anyone's cellphone goes off, if anyone opens their door, if anyone listens to music, if anyone takes a shower...! And the mattress is thin and uncomfortable, so I didn't sleep well. Maybe it'll be better other nights. Still, this place is like a hostel...not like a home.

But the worst and the most difficult is the frequent solitude. I like to be with people. I often think how much I would love to hang out with a good friend. 

But, it's okay...it's okay to be alone sometimes. Even on a weekend night. I'll be alright--I don't have to go out every Friday night with friends to have a good life. I have a lot to be thankful for anyway :)

And I will go on living as a foreigner and outsider here, and I will go on believing that it will get better and easier as I give it time.